Monday, December 15, 2008

Naughty or Nice???

Okay, so far, I've made Cleopatra seem nice. Well... I'm not so sure about that. Let me tell you, this Pharaoh had some sharp claws. Especially when it came to love or power. And it ran in the family. Two weeks after Ptolemy XII (Cleopatra's rich daddy) came into power, he killed his step-mother, the old Pharaoh. The Egyptian people were outraged, so they chased him down to the river, killed him and dropped his body in the Nile. What a nice welcoming gift! To come into power, she had to marry her 10 year-old brother, Ptolemy XIII, so being completely power-hungry, she consented. But she wanted power, and bad. Her brother's advisers were planning to kill her. So she murdered him. How nice! But then misfortune struck Cleopatra. She was now 22 and had to marry her still younger brother, Ptolemy XIV, who was 10 years old. But Cleopatra, being herself, married him. But she was not happy being co-ruler. She bribed his officials into poisoning him. Do you see where I'm going with this? She bribed and charmed her way into most anything she wanted her whole life. Some say it was her charm, some say it was her whit, and still some say it was her beauty. At first, I believed that it was the third of these options, but I found out that she was actually UGLY! If she lived in modern day, she'd be the dorky fat kid everyone made fun of! Can you believe it? I know I couldn't. But anyway, she was mean to her last and final moment. When she received word that Octavian was coming to Egypt, she decided to test poisons, in case it came to suicide. She tested different drugs on innocent servants and took note of which died the fastest and least painfully. So basically she would stand over the servant and say "Okay, try this. It'll kill you.... Are you dead yet? No? Are you in pain? You are? How much?" She would do it over and over. But she found that the ones that died fastest died with the most pain. And she was empress, so of coarse she deserved to die fast and painlessly. Duh! So without any luck, she moved on to poisonous reptiles. The same thing would happen over and over, only with bites instead of drugs. And she finally found it, the perfect bite. An asp. You would get bitten and your senses would slowly dull until you died. And to make sure the plan was covered up, she poisoned her servants, ensuring the plan was concealed for history. Like I said, she wasn't exactly Mother Teresa.

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